Emergency dance party--go away.
Rainbow RowellTags: humor
She needed to say something sexy and romantic with a mere hint of her vast intelligence. Something that would entice him into bed.
But what came out was, "I wanna fuck."
-Miki Kendrick
Tags: humor
Then it sounds to me like you love her. And if you love her, then tell her she belongs to you and she needs to get over it. Show her who's in charge. That's what I did with Sara."
Zach seemed less than pleased when they all laughed so hard Conall actually fell off the bed.
Tags: humor
The Death Mist is not for helping!" Akhlys shrieked. "It shrouds mortals in misery as their souls pass into the Underworld. It is the very breath of Tartarus, of death, of despair!"
"Awesome," Percy said. "Could we get two orders of that to go?
Tags: humor sarcasm percy-jackson
The way Leo figured it, he spent more time crashing than he did flying. If there was a rewards card for frequent crashers, he'd be, like, double platinum level.
Rick RiordanTags: humor leo-valdez
There is a point in every philosophy at which the "conviction" of the philosopher appears on the scene; or, to put it in the words of an ancient mystery: adventavit asinus, / pulcher et fortissimus. (Translation: The ass arrives, beautiful and most brave.)
Friedrich NietzscheTags: humor hidden-meaning
It is time to buddle (scrub in water) all that is not illutile (unwash-awayable). Baudelaire said that humans were deluded if they thought they could wash away all their spots with vile tears, but Baudelaire was French and therefore knew nothing about hygiene or shower gel.
Mark ForsythTags: humor french baudelaire sarcasm-humor the-horologicon
Don't expect me to tell you apart," Reagan said when this became a routine.
"I have short hair," Wren said. "and she wears glasses."
"Stop," Reagan groaned, "don't make me look at you. It's like The Shining in here.
Tags: humor
I, for one, am a CNN junkie. I’m convinced it stands for Chris Needs News.
Chris ColferIf the facts are against you, argue the law. If the law is against you, argue the facts. If the law and the facts are against you, pound the table and yell like hell
Carl SandburgTags: humor
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