Alice wonders if other women in the middle of the night have begun to resent their Formica.
Barbara KingsolverTags: humor
I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: Oh Lord, make my enemies ridiculous. And God granted it."
(Letter to Étienne Noël Damilaville, May 16, 1767)
Tags: humor religion satire prayers enmity ridicule social-justice social-life
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
Mark TwainAlice laughed. 'There's no use trying,' she said. 'One can't believe impossible things.'
I daresay you haven't had much practice,' said the Queen. 'When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast. There goes the shawl again!
Tags: humor impossible beliefs breakfast
I had an epiphany a few years ago when I was out at a celebrity party and it suddenly dawned on me that I had yet to meet a celebrity who is as smart and interesting as any of my friends.
MobyTags: humor epiphany celebrities
One day,' Orest said, looking at him comically, 'you will say something that is less than practical and sensible, something that is driven by no forethought and nothing but passion, and I will probably collapse with shock.
Mercedes LackeyTags: humor
Oh well... I'd just been thinking, if you had died, you'd have been welcome to share my toilet.
J.K. RowlingHe'll get tired of chasing someone who doesn't chase back!
Billy Ray CyrusTags: humor
When I saw the car pulling into the driveway and I saw her getting out and walking towards the house, can you imagine Nadezhda, I performed involuntary excretion in my trousers.
Marina LewyckaTags: humor
Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.
Douglas MacArthur« first previous
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