We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.
Bill WattersonTags: humor live-in-the-moment enjoy-life
Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.
Douglas AdamsAn original idea. That can't be too hard. The library must be full of them.
Stephen FryTags: humor libraries originality
Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee
And I'll forgive Thy great big one on me.
That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.
Dorothy ParkerTags: humor epitaph the-new-yorker
Every ounce of my cynicism is supported by historical precedent.
Glen CookGarcia wondered why people with JESUS stickers on their bumper always drove twenty miles per hour under the speed limit. If God was my co-pilot, he thought, I'd be doing a hundred and twenty.
Carl HiaasenSelfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
Ambrose BierceTags: humor definition
It smells terrible in here.'
Well, what do you expect? The human body, when confined, produces certain odors which we tend to forget in this age of deodorants and other perversions. Actually, I find the atmosphere of this room rather comforting. Schiller needed the scent of apples rotting in his desk in order to write. I, too, have my needs. You may remember that Mark Twain preferred to lie supinely in bed while composing those rather dated and boring efforts which contemporary scholars try to prove meaningful. Veneration of Mark Twain is one of the roots of our current intellectual stalemate.
Tags: humor writing humour odors smells stink
...I doubt very seriously whether anyone will hire me.'
What do you mean, babe? You a fine boy with a good education.'
Employers sense in me a denial of their values.' He rolled over onto his back. 'They fear me. I suspect that they can see that I am forced to function in a century I loathe. This was true even when I worked for the New Orleans Public Library.
Tags: humor work humour employment
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