We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.

Bill Watterson

Tag: humor live-in-the-moment enjoy-life



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Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.

Douglas Adams

Tag: humor science



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An original idea. That can't be too hard. The library must be full of them.

Stephen Fry

Tag: humor libraries originality



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Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee
And I'll forgive Thy great big one on me.

Robert Frost

Tag: humor poetry religion



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That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

Dorothy Parker

Tag: humor epitaph the-new-yorker



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Every ounce of my cynicism is supported by historical precedent.

Glen Cook

Tag: humor life cynicism



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Garcia wondered why people with JESUS stickers on their bumper always drove twenty miles per hour under the speed limit. If God was my co-pilot, he thought, I'd be doing a hundred and twenty.

Carl Hiaasen

Tag: humor god



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Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.

Ambrose Bierce

Tag: humor definition



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It smells terrible in here.'

Well, what do you expect? The human body, when confined, produces certain odors which we tend to forget in this age of deodorants and other perversions. Actually, I find the atmosphere of this room rather comforting. Schiller needed the scent of apples rotting in his desk in order to write. I, too, have my needs. You may remember that Mark Twain preferred to lie supinely in bed while composing those rather dated and boring efforts which contemporary scholars try to prove meaningful. Veneration of Mark Twain is one of the roots of our current intellectual stalemate.

John Kennedy Toole

Tag: humor writing humour odors smells stink



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...I doubt very seriously whether anyone will hire me.'

What do you mean, babe? You a fine boy with a good education.'

Employers sense in me a denial of their values.' He rolled over onto his back. 'They fear me. I suspect that they can see that I am forced to function in a century I loathe. This was true even when I worked for the New Orleans Public Library.

John Kennedy Toole

Tag: humor work humour employment



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