Warm-hearted! I should think he has to wear asbestos vests!

P.G. Wodehouse

Tag: humor



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Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous.

P.G. Wodehouse

Tag: humor hair redheads



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Christmas crept into Pine Cove like a creeping Christmas thing: dragging garland, ribbon, and sleigh bells, oozing eggnog, reeking of pine, and threatening festive doom like a cold sore under the mistletoe.

Christopher Moore

Tag: humor first-sentence



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If there is anyone here whom I have not insulted, I beg his pardon.

Johannes Brahms

Tag: humor



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There’s a fine line between support and stalking and let’s all stay on the right side of that.

Joss Whedon

Tag: humor perspective wit fan fanatic lines stalking support



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It isn`t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.

Drew Carey

Tag: humor



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I frankly felt like the reception we received on the way in from the airport was very warm and hospitable. And I want to thank the Canadian people who came out to wave -- with all five fingers -- for their hospitality.

George W. Bush

Tag: humor witty



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I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer

Douglas Adams

Tag: humor attributed-no-source wit misattributed-douglas-adams



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You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time.

Steven Wright

Tag: humor reading books



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And I thought that all those little kids are going to grow up someday. And all of those little kids are going to do the things that we do. And they will all kiss someone someday. But for now, sledding is enough. I think it would be great if sledding were always enough, but it isn't.

Stephen Chbosky

Tag: humor inspirational



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