Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

George Burns

Tags: humor happiness family



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I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.

Douglas Adams

Tags: humor writing work humour deadlines



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I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Jerome K. Jerome

Tags: humor work



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There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Oscar Levant

Tags: humor insanity genius



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Reality is just a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

Robin Williams

Tags: humor reality addiction drugs



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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

George Carlin

Tags: humor inspirational benediction evil goodwill wishes



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Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise... surprise and fear... fear and surprise... Our two weapons are fear and surprise... and ruthless efficiency.... Our three weapons are fear, and surprise, and ruthless efficiency... and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope... Our four... no... Amongst our weapons... Amongst our weaponry... are such elements as fear, surprise... I'll come in again.

Graham Chapman

Tags: humor monty-python



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The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.

H.L. Mencken

Tags: humor wisdom age old



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If she can't spell, why is she a librarian? Librarians should know how to spell.

Beverly Cleary

Tags: humor librarians spelling



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Humor is reason gone mad.

Groucho Marx

Tags: humor reason



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