One day in 1948 or 1949, the Brentwood County Mart, a shopping complex in an upscale neighborhood of Los Angeles, California, was the scene of a slight disturbance that carried overtones of the most spectacular upheaval in twientieth-century music. Marta Feuchtwanger, wife of émigré novelist Lion Feuchtwanger, was examining grapefruit in the produce section when she heard a voice shouting German from the far end of the aisle. She looked up to see Arnold Schoenberg, the pioneer of atonal music and the codifier of twelve-tone composition, bearing down on her, with his bald pate and burning eyes. Decades later, in conversation with the writer Lawrence Weschler, Feuchtwanger could recall every detail of the encounter, including the weight of the grapefruit in her hand. “Lies, Frau Marta, lies!” Schoenberg was yelling. “You have to know, I never had syphilis!
Alex RossThe one that sang, old Janine, was always whispering into the g***** microphone before she sang. She'd say, 'And now we like to geeve you our impression of Vooly Voo Fransay. Eet ees the story of leetle Fransh girl who comes to a beeg ceety, just like New York, and falls een love wees a leetle boy from Brookleen. We hope you like eet.' Then, when she was all done whispering and being cute as hell, she'd sing some dopey song, half in English and half in French, and drive all the phonies in the place mad with joy.
J.D. SalingerTags: humorous jd-salinger
I should think this a gull, but that the white-bearded fellow speaks it; knavery cannot, sure, hide himself in such reverence.
William ShakespeareTags: humorous
There's something not quite Christian about it," Tony said. He sat back in his chair and looked up to where his Bible sat on the shelf. "I can't put my finger on why exactly, but it doesn't seem right for a couple of young ladies to be out there in the middle of the night, obsessing over their telescopes.
Joey ComeauTags: humorous
Oh hell. They've got Mrs B in a bag!
L.J. SmithTags: humorous
Admiral Spartan thinks that the object must be exposed and penetrated with all possible speed.
Lincoln ChildTags: humorous
Dean: If there is a greater power, why is it he can't get you a new sweater?
Jamie: Because, he's too busy looking for your brain.
Tags: humorous
You know I hate to chase. I'm only here to talk, but if you run, I'll have to chase and we both know where that usually ends up.
Kaye ChambersTags: humorous
The better organized the state, the duller its humanity.
David MitchellTags: philosophy humorous
Emma was doing something nice for Simon? Hell must be enjoying the snow day.
E.J. StevensTags: fantasy paranormal-romance fiction mystery humorous paranormal young-adult urban-fantasy mystery-series spirit-guide-series paranormal-suspense spirit-storm
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