You’ll be dethroned faster than a coke snorting beauty queen.

Eric Luper

Tags: humorous

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Lucille must have fed him a Vallium smoothie this morning.

Janet Evanovich

Tags: humorous stephanie-plum

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When Grandma Mazur is talking about the reason for the improved play of her 91-year-old bowling teammate, she said:
"She's doing better now that we got her the longer tubing to her oxygen tank.

Janet Evanovich

Tags: humorous grandma-mazur

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Connie, giving her thoughts on why Vinnie's hot temper is less than normal, says: "Lucille must have fed him a Vallium smoothie this morning.

Janet Evanovich

Tags: humorous connie vinnie

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As Stephanie and Lula were going after the bad guys, Lula was making preparations from the trunk of her Firebird. Stephanie looked inside and stopped breathing for a beat. "That's a rocket launcher!" "Yep," Lula said. "It's a big boy. I got it at a yard sale in the projects.

Janet Evanovich

Tags: humorous stephanie lula

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You were listening at the door, Gigi!"

"No, Grandmamma."

"Yes, you had your ear to the keyhole. You must never listen at key-holes. You don't hear properly and so you get things all wrong.

Colette

Tags: humorous

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Thomas has the kind of whiter-than-white boyish grin that makes women's panties spontaneously evaporate.

Jim Butcher

Tags: humorous

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You came up this gut-wrenching road yesterday by yourself?" Cassie exclaimed. "You deserve a good cuffing just for driving this goat path on your own."
"It's not so bad once you get used to dodging the ruts."
"You've got some nerve calling these canyons ruts."
"Cassandra Hudson, where is your sense of adventure?"
"I dropped it off going over that last rut-crossing when only two wheels were on the ground."
"Those ones are a bit exhilarating, aren't they?" Alexandra shot Cassie a quick look and wink. 
"Keep your eyes on the road!"
"What road?"
"Exactly!

H.H. Laura

Tags: road humorous goat canyons exhilarating larkspur ruts

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There is, after all, no pleasure like that given by a woman who really wants to see you.

Anthony Powell

Tags: insightful humorous poignant

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I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know.

Gary Shandling

Tags: humorous

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