Jewish vampires: Garlic? As a weapon? No its a spice silly human
Tasha TurnerTags: humorous jewish vampire jewish-vampire
If we take the president of GM, they'll make us pay to give him back." (said by a kidnapper)
Owen LaukkanenTags: humorous
He’s sort of a homeless horse,” I said.
“I’m leaving for the airport in two seconds, and I won’t be back for a couple days. You can put the horse in the garage, but I don’t want that horse in my apartment.”
“Who would put a horse in an apartment? That’s dumb.”
“Where’s the horse staying now?”
“My apartment.”
“I can always count on you to brighten my day,” Ranger said. And he disconnected.
Tags: humorous
There were two books I remember changing my life as a introverted, bookish 14 year old. The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand and The Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien. One was set in a fantastic world, populated by outlandish characters,tired prose, foul monsters, evil incarnate and a message about losing one's humanity. The other book was about hobbits.
Christopher Odell HomsleyTags: humorous
Well, wasn't this a night for firsts. Sex. Arson. Pants.
J.R. WardTags: humorous
You are an old pig!'one of them said to the other. 'And that is worse than being a young one.
Ivan TurgenevTags: philosophy humorous generations
There's no such thing as a sane woman.
Andrew SturmTags: life-lessons humorous project value-of-life kirkwood
One should never marry a man who doesn't own a decent set of scissors.
Gillian FlynnHe never did get right all the way again. And every once in a while he'd come down all bitey.
Jonathan MaberryHere's my using dickwad in a sentence. Greg is such a dickwad, he locks his car in the Pagoda Pizza parking lot. (No. That isn't a real Vocab word.)
A.S. KingTags: humorous vocabulary
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