Adelina knew perfectly well who the father was, but she worked hard to forget it, and by the end of her life she would insist that Jesús was her child and hers only.
Olga Núñez MiretTags: humorous
Locavore?" But before he could answer, I figured it out. "Someone who eats food produced locally? As opposed to locovore, someone who eats crazy people?
Mari DonneTags: humorous
Imogen was a bright girl naturally, but she had read so many novels that her brain was completely turned.
Susan CoolidgeYou spit in this?"
"Yup."
Chris shrugged. "As long as you're honest.
Tags: humorous
How many kids are in the Graveyard?"
"A bunch."
"Who sends your supplies?"
"George Washington. Or is it Abraham Lincoln? I forget."
"How often do you receive new arrivals?"
"About as often as you beat your wife.
Tags: humor sarcasm humorous snark sarcastic risa-ward
Writing is a lonely pursuit. The only thing working is imagination and hands.
The only difference between writing and masturbation is one is presumably intended for a mass audience.
Tags: humorous
Why in the name of God do you wear these ugly ass granny panties? I swear it looks like you could parachute from the Dallas Lincoln Plaza with these and have a nice soft landing! Why don’t you get on the internet and apply your online shopping skills while purchasing some panties that do not look like they came from your Grans drawer?
Kathryn PerezTags: humorous panties friendship-friends
Asshole," Ephraim muttered as he turned back around.
Chris chuckeled. "Is that really any way to talk to your favorite child?"
"You're not my favorite," Ephraim argued, but they both knew that was bullshit. "I don't have any favorites."
"Puhlease," Chris said. "You fucking adore me...
Tags: humorous
Actually, watching television and surfing the Internet are really excellent practice for being dead.
Chuck PalahniukTags: humor wisdom death death-and-dying television internet humorous wisdom-in-fiction humorous-quotations
How's the blood-stream, my dear, invaluable little woman? How's the blood-stream?"...
"It's quite comfortable, sir...I think, sir, thank you."...
"Aha!"..."a comfortable stream, is it? Aha! v-e-r-y good. V-e-r-y good. Dawdling 'twixt hill and hill, no doubt. Meandering through groves of bone, threading the tissues and giving what sustenance it can to your dear old body...I am so glad. But in yourself - right deep down in yourself - how do you feel? Carnally speaking, are you at peace - from the dear grey hairs of your head to the patter of your little feet - are you at peace?"
"What does he mean, dear?" said poor Mrs. Slagg, clutching Fuschia's arm....
"He wants to know if you feel well or not.
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