Spider or gum? Spider or gum? I thought quickly trying to come up with a believable excuse when I blurted out, “I swallowed a spider!” What? I swallowed a spider? What the hell is wrong with me?!
Melissa AragonTags: humorous
I threw my hand over my mouth and blurted out the first best excuse I could come up with, “Morning breath!
Melissa AragonTags: humorous romance-funny
Put it on your forehead and you'll feel better in no time!
Alfred F. Jones HetaliaTags: humorous
An Irishman walks into a pub,” she begins and the bar went silent. “The bartender asks him, ‘What'll you have?’” Her Irish accent was spot on. “The man says, ‘Give me three pints of Guinness, please.’ The bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they're gone. He then orders three more.
“The bartender says, ‘Sir, no need to order as many at a time. I’ll keep an eye on it and when you get low, I'll bring you a fresh one.’ The man replies, ‘You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we'd still drink together. So right now, me brothers have three Guinness stouts too, and we're drinking together.’
“The bartender thought this a wonderful tradition and every week the man came in and ordered three beers.” January’s playing and voice became more solemn, dramatic. “But one week, he ordered only two.” The crowd oohed and ahhed. “He slowly drank them,” she continued darkly, “and then ordered two more. The bartender looked at him sadly. ‘Sir, I know your tradition, and, agh, I'd just like to say that I'm sorry for your loss.’
“The man looked on him strangely before it finally dawned on him. ‘Oh, me brothers are fine - I just quit drinking.
Fill what’s empty, empty what’s full, and scratch where it itches, your Grace. That’s my motto.
Melissa McPhailTags: humorous fantasy-series
Always take a compliment, even if it’s not yours
Benny BellamacinaTags: wisdom life love humour relationships philosophical humorous wisdom-inspirational
Do you follow the wrestling? Most people think it's illegal, but you can watch it there. Ruby and Python are on display this evening.
Samuel R. DelanyTags: humorous prophecies context
There's a place for farts, and there's a place for sharts.
J.E. HaldemanThere are times when I am so unlike myself that I might be taken for someone else of an entirely opposite character.
Jean-Jacques RousseauTags: change self humorous personality personal-development flexibility
Yes, I know this narrative is crowded with beautiful women - Mrs. Pearson, Mrs. Maycott, Mrs. Lavien, Mrs. Bingham. We might form a cricket team of beautiful women. I cannot help it if they are the ones who excite my notice and so trouble myself to describe.
David LissTags: humorous
« first previous
Page 66 of 91.
next last »
Data privacy
Imprint
Contact
Diese Website verwendet Cookies, um Ihnen die bestmögliche Funktionalität bieten zu können.