Eins var algengt hjá okkur ef spurt var um líðan einhvers manns: iss hann er feitur; en það þýddi að honum liði vel, eða einsog sagt mundi vera í Danmörku, að hann væri hamingjusamur. Ef einhverjum leið illa, þá var sagt sem svo: æ það hálfsér á honum; og væri sá nær dauða en lífi sem um var rætt, þá var sagt: æ það er í er í honum einhver lurða. Ef einhver var um það bil að verða ellidauður, þá var sagt: æjá hann er hættur að bleyta smjörið. Um þann sem lá banaleguna var sagt: já hann er nú að berja nestið auminginn. Um dauðvona ungling var sagt að það liti ekki út fyrir að hann ætti að kemba hærurnar.

Halldór Laxness

Tags: death humour brekkukotsannáll laxness



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Shall we proceed, and ought I do so with my knife drawn?”

“You’d better keep it where it is for the moment,” he said. “Otherwise you might stab me to death accidentally.” .

“If I stab you to death,” she said, “it will not be accidental.

Loretta Chase

Tags: humour



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He'll have that scar forever."

"Couldn't you do something about it, Dumbledore?"

"Even if I could, I wouldn't. Scars can come in handy. I have one myself above my left knee that is a perfect map of the London Underground.

J.K. Rowling

Tags: wisdom optimism humour funny magic scars scar london positivity body-positivity



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I think that people's sexual preferences are a legitimate subject for humour, dirty humour if at all possible.

Christopher Hitchens

Tags: sexuality humour homosexuality dirty-humour sexual-preferences



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Viņudien skatos - govs norāvusies un iebridusi bietēs. Es saku: "Vaidav, izlīdziet!" Un ko jūs domājat! Aizskrēja. Vienreiz iekoda kājā un tūdaļ atpakaļ. Ausis nolaidis, aste kājstarpē. Viņš jutās neērti. Es arī. Govs tāpat. Visiem trim kauns.

Ēriks Hānbergs

Tags: humour latvian pirmā-grēka-līcis



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I shall be much obliged to you, cousin, if you will refrain from telling my sisters that she has a face like a horse!’

‘But, Charles, no blame attaches to Miss Wraxton! She cannot help it, and that, I assure you, I have always pointed out to your sisters!’

‘I consider Miss Wraxton’s countenance particularly well-bred!’

‘Yes, indeed, but you have quite misunderstood the matter! I meant a particularly well-bred horse!’

'You mean, as I am perfectly aware, to belittle Miss Wraxton!'

'No, no! I am very fond of horses!' Sophy said earnestly.

Before he could stop himself he found that he was replying to this. 'Selina, who repeated the remark to me, is not fond of horses, however, and she—' He broke off, seeing how absurd it was to argue on such a head.

'I expect she will be, when she has lived in the same house with Miss Wraxton for a month or two,' said Sophy encouragingly.

Georgette Heyer

Tags: romance humour



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I began to feel like a kept man and it felt great.

Charles Bukowski

Tags: humour self-deprecatory



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What in cat hell just happened?

Sarah Jane Avory

Tags: humour



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Waiting for a book to be published is like having a baby. It would be nine months before we heard the patter of tiny pages trotting through the letter box, and the bookcase shuffled it's shelves in boredom and I was a martyr to morning sickness.

Deric Longden

Tags: family sadness humour



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The club is too loud to talk, so after a couple of drinks, everyone feels like the centre of attention but completely cut off from participating with anyone else.
You're the corpse in an English murder mystery.

Chuck Palahniuk

Tags: society humour observation commentary



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