Phileas Fogg, having shut the door of his house at half-past eleven, and having put his right foot before his left five hundred and seventy-five times, and his left foot before his right five hundred and seventy-six times, reached the Reform Club

Jules Verne

Tags: humour walking mechanical

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As for Phileas Fogg, it seemed just as if the typhoon were a part of his programme

Jules Verne

Tags: humour composure

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In lieu of Tasers, you'll have to hit me. Hard as you can. Then maybe some kind of fight-or-flight response will kick in and I'll turn into a bat to get away from you."
"Fight or flight."
"Yes."
"Only half of that is flight.

Adam Rex

Tags: humor humour funny vampires paranormal transformation supernatural

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I just want mind-boggling sex tonight, but I don’t think you can beat my vibrator.

Anna Bayes

Tags: humor sex humour masturbation banter

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I glance at Tris. She grins at me, then leans in to whisper something to Christina.
"Are you here to help or what, Stiff?" I say.

Veronica Roth

Tags: humour christina tris-prior tobias-eaton allegiant

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Non, moi j'crois qu'il faut qu’vous arrêtiez d'essayer d'dire des trucs. Ça vous fatigue, déjà, et pour les autres, vous vous rendez pas compte de c'que c'est. Moi quand vous faites ça, ça me fout une angoisse... j'pourrais vous tuer, j'crois. De chagrin, hein ! J'vous jure c'est pas bien. Il faut plus que vous parliez avec des gens. (Arthur à Perceval)

Alexandre Astier

Tags: humour arthurian-legend arthurian-saga

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The man is an asshole."
"You might say that, but you'd be maligning a part of the body that is of unquestioned utility. I prefer to think of Lugala as a tumor.

Eleanor Arnason

Tags: humour

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Isn't that petty?"
"Anna, you have not yet seen pettiness. When a couple of tough guys like the general and Lugala Tsu decide to confront each other, vistas of pettiness open up that you and I can barely comprehend.

Eleanor Arnason

Tags: humour pettiness

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Do not mislead Perez Anna or malign the people who have sheltered you for over twenty years. We are not - what is the word for eaters of one another?"
"Capitalists," said Anna.

Eleanor Arnason

Tags: politics capitalism humour cannibalism

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I had this terrible nightmare; I dreamt I was a politician and they were dragging me off to parliament

rassool jibraeel snyman

Tags: science inspirational politics humour political-philosophy political-theory political-correctness political-commentary

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