I know the human being and fish can co-exist peacefully.
George W. BushTags: humor dumb humour fish human bushism george-bush gaffe
If I were you, I'd sue my face for slander.
Terry PratchettTags: humour
You must master the vices. You know that if a thing is worth doing it's worth doing well. If, however, a thing is not worth doing then it's worth doing fabulously, amazingly, with grace, style and panache.
Isla DewarIt's only human nature for dogs to chase motorbikes
Peter TinniswoodTags: humour
Many people find bald, unvarnished truths so disturbing, they prefer to ram their heads in the sand and start dreaming at the first sign of scientific reality.
Charlie BrookerEverybody knows if you are too careful you are so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something.
Gertrude SteinTags: humour
A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic.
George Bernard ShawTags: humour
The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.
Robert A. HeinleinTags: humour
Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin.
Edward GoreyTags: inspirational humour macabre
I should say we’d reach England by Tuesday or thereabouts, with a decent wind behind us. It would be a lot quicker than that if we could just sail straight there, but I was looking at the nautical charts, and there’s a dirty great sea serpent right in the middle of the ocean! It has a horrible gaping maw and one of those scaly tails that looks like it could snap a boat clean in two. So I thought it best to sail around that.’
FitzRoy frowned. ‘I think they just draw those on maps to add a bit of decoration. It doesn’t actually mean there’s a sea serpent there.’
The galley went rather quiet. A few of the pirate crew stared intently out of the portholes, embarrassed at their Captain’s mistake. But to everyone’s relief, instead of running somebody through, the Pirate Captain just narrowed his eyes thoughtfully.
That explains a lot,’ he said. ‘I suppose it’s also why we’ve never glimpsed that giant compass in the corner of the Atlantic. I have to say, I’m a little disappointed.
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