If you find yourself suddenly mated to a werewolf, whatever you do, don't panic. Simply turn to Jen for assistance and she will give you a cool acronym to call him…because that's just so important.
Quinn LoftisTags: funny humourous-situations sally beyond-the-veil
I shall destroy capitalism! Do you hear! I shall destroy every single capitalist! And I shall start with you, you dog, if you don't help us with the bomb!'
Allan noted that the had managed to be both a rat and a dog in the course of a minute or so. And that Stalin was being rather inconsistent, because now he wanted to use Allan's services after all.
But Allan wasn't going to sit there and listen to this abuse any longer. He had come to Moscow to help them out, not to be shouted at. Stalin would have to manage on his own.
'I've been thinking,' said Allan.
'What,' said Stalin angrily.
'Why don't you shave off that moustache?'
With that the dinner was over, because the interpreter fainted.
Tags: humourous-situations p228
Do i look like a beautiful blond with big tits and an ass that tastes like French vanilla ice-cream?
No. no, you don't.
Then why are you telling me all this bullshit just so you can fuck me.
Tags: humourous-situations
Manicures: Which are basically just holding hands with a stranger for forty-five minutes whilst listening to Enya.
Miranda HartTags: beauty humourous-situations
It doesn’t matter anyway!” Patrick couldn’t sit down. He couldn’t. “It’s not like sex is anything to shout about! It’s icky, and the guy never wants to wear a condom, and I have to give a frickin’ health and safety lesson every time I give a blow job because they think I’m stupid, and I know you can get shit from giving head, and I’m not putting that thing in my mouth unless I get a written fucking guarantee that it’s not going to drop off or explode or give me some life-threatening disease or mutant antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea!
Amy LaneTags: humourous-situations
Oh how nice!" the lady said. But not corny. She was just nice
J.D. SalingerTags: humourous-situations
One of the ex-sucias publishes a poem about you online. It's called "El Puto
Junot DíazTags: humourous-situations
They play like file clerks file.
Lauren KesslerTags: humourous-situations
I do hope we shall meet again. Perhaps we could have a reading club of some sorts. I 've read that one." She leaned in. "Have you reached the part where Mr. Darcy proposes?"
Asriel narrowed his gaze on Cross. "She did that on purpose."
Pippa shook her head. "Oh, I did not ruin it. Elizabeth refuses." She paused. "I suppose I did ruin that. Apologies.
Tags: pride-and-prejudice humourous-situations
I'm not stupid and I'm not brainy. I just lack execution sometimes.
I'm more of a "I should have said that" kind of gal. But there will be other days when I'll have a comback that'll knock ya flat and you knows it brov! ha-ha!
Tags: life authors humourous-situations common-ground pressures elliewilliams teamelbombs
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