Hey, dragon!" Jay said loudly. The dragon opened one eye. "How can you tell if you have a dragon in your bathroom? The door won't close! How long was the dragons vacation? Four days and three knights! How about this one? Three ninja and a dragon walk into a dojo, and--"

The Lightning Dragon swiped it's massive tail, knocking Jay off his feet.

"That's the worst thing about dragons," muttered Jay, standing back up. "They don't know good jokes when they hear them.

Greg Farshtey

Tags: dragon lightning jokes jay greg-farshtey



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A sign read "Free drinks for billiards competitors only." Hand-lettered below read "All others will pay." It was written in blood. I could tell because a red fairy with what looked like black insect wings was writing it at the time, with his own dismembered finger.

Red Tash

Tags: humor fantasy fairies fairy jokes gore billiards



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I have been so very, very fortunate in my life. I've met or been in contact with several of my childhood heroes. I've interacted with people all over this planet, and even though I couldn't possibly hope to remember all their names, I remember a photograph, a poem, a sound, a joke, kind words of encouragement. All is not lost.

Wayne Gerard Trotman

Tags: friendship kindness people childhood interaction heroes encouragement memories luck poems jokes sound photographs good-fortune



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Fuck it... That's really the attitude that keeps a family together, it's not "we love each other", it's just "fuck it, man.

Louis C.K.

Tags: life honesty family funny attitude comedy quote joke honest jokes comedian stand-up lucky-louie fuck-it louie



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Many things have been compared to a brick, mainly as a tribute to their intellect or to their aerodynamic characteristics.

Sorin Suciu

Tags: humor laughter characteristics intellect intellectual jokes geek-humor geek



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Nothing is a joke with me. It just all comes out like one.

Lorrie Moore

Tags: life jokes comedians



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I'm sitting at the bar, rearranging the order of my jokes. I'm under the delusion that I'm having bad shows because of some cosmic misalignment of words, phrases, and ideas. I may as well have cast runes into a spirit bowl, hoping that the collective heart of the audience would open to my necromantic call. Maybe that's how jugglers do it. Those guys never have shitty sets.

Patton Oswalt

Tags: jokes stand-up patton-oswalt casting-runes jugglers necromantic-comedy present-tense spirit-bowl



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Life would be perfect if monster would stop farting.

David Chuka

Tags: humor monsters childrens-books jokes



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Some jokes are less agreeable than others

Harriet Beecher Stowe

Tags: jokes



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A joke is a question of mind over manner.

Anthony Marais

Tags: jokes



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