Okay. When he comes, you can see him?"
"Yes. I can hear him, too. And he, uh..."
She brushed the bandage on the side of her skull. I looked at her in bewilderment. Was she serious?
"He hits you?"
"Yes."
"With his fist?"
"Yes."
John looked up from his coffee indignantly. "Man, what a dick!"
I did roll my eyes this time and glared at John once they stopped. I don't know if you've ever seen a ghost, but I'm guessing that if you did, the thing didn't run over and punch you in the face. I'm guessing that's never happened to any of your friends, either.
And Talon did not understand – no, strike that, he didn‘t want to understand – why seeing Hawk and Roadkill together gave him a funny ache in the pit of his stomach. Every time he looked at Flit, the ache got worse.
He needed to get laid.
Gideon laughed. "I like to be direct."
"Okay," I said. "But I warn you, I like to be evasive, inserutable and generally send mixed messages."
"I doubt it."
"Human interaction is not my strong point," I told him.
"Not seriously."
"Seriously," I said. Thinking: There is so much about me he doesn't know.
Gideon put his hand on my leg. "What's your strong point, then?"
"Goats," I told him. "I am excellent with goats.
Tags: humor love humour humorous cute lol chick-lit chicklit
I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.
Ellen DeGeneresTags: humor funny lol godmothers
For refusing to collapse into an earth-devouring black hole under the force of its own staggering density, we dedicate this book to Theodore Roosevelt's left testicle.
Cracked.comTags: lol
Taylor clapped her hands three times for attention. "Ladies! Ladies! My stars! That's enough. Now. We all know Miss Arkansas's girls are fake, miss Ohio's easier than making cereal, and Miss Montana's dress is something my blind meemaw would wear to bingo night. And Miss New Mexico -- aren't you from the chill-out state? Maybe you can channel up some new-age-Whole-Foods-incense calm right about now, because we have a big job ahead called staying alive.
Libba BrayTags: lol
Kyo Sohma: One of these days I'll make you say you're sorry
Yuki Sohma: looking bored I'm sorry.
Kyo Sohma: Dammit That's not what I meant Don't you have any shame
Yuki Sohma: still looking annoyed Yes I'm ashamed to be seen with you shouting in public.
Kyo Sohma: Oh that's it We're taking this outside
Yuki Sohma: still looking annoyed We ARE outside you stupid cat.
Tags: funny cute lol fruits-basket kyo yuki
Shigure Sohma: So anyway I was wondering if you could stop by the house and take a look at Tohru's cut. That is if it isn't a problem.
Hatori Sohma: No problem. I'll stop by the house this evening.
Shigure Sohma: Hmmm What's this Hatori I don't think I ever heard you sound so eager to come over. Could it be you have a secret crush on Tohru
[long silence from the other end of the phone]
Shigure Sohma: [shouts] I knew it You naughty naughty man you
Hatori Sohma: No I was simply too amazed by your stupidity to say anything.
Tags: funny dragon dog lol crush fruits-basket tohru shigure hatori
I had to make water ” I said. It was the classic female excuse and no male in recorded history had ever questioned it.
“I see ” the Inspector said and left it at that.
Later I would have a quick piddle behind the caravan for insurance purposes. No one would be any the wiser.
I was gazing at a cup of cocoa on my night table.
As I focused on the thick brown skin that had formed upon its surface like ice on a muddy pond something at the root of my tongue leapt like a little goat and my stomach turned over. There are not many things that I despise but chiefest among them is skin on milk. I loathe it with a passion.
Not even the thought of the marvelous chemical change that forms the stuff—the milk’s proteins churned and ripped apart by the heat of boiling then reassembling themselves as they cool into a jellied skin—was enough to console me. I would rather eat a cobweb.
Tags: lol
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