If you didn't have me to rake you over the coals now and then, there wouldn't be any fire in your life at all.
Joe HillWes sat in a cracked vinyl booth picking at his fries and listening to Amanda go on and on about the dress she'd found.
'...and it has these little lavender bows. Oh, Wes, I can't wait 'til you see it.' She gesticulated wildly, and her only saving grace right now was her amazing rack that swayed and bounced with each movement. Sometimes he swore that was the only reason he ever looked crosswise at Amanda Price. That, and her daddy's checkbook.
'And I found these shoes--"
'Uh huh, that's nice,' he cut her off and slid free from the booth. He held out his hand. 'Got the card?' He waved the bill in the air at her questioning gaze. Was she a little cross-eyed, maybe? He thought so.
Tags: humor sarcasm drama sarcastic-humor
Who cares even if I didn't?!" Conor shouted back. "They're just stupid berries. Woo-hoo, so scary. Oh, please, please, save me from the berries!"
The monster looked at him quizzically. How strange, it said. The words you say tell me you are scared of the berries, but your actions seems to suggest otherwise.
Tags: humor funny sarcasm monster berries
The over-weight and out of shape guy who owned the house had apparently decided that having a half-million dollar house meant that he couldn’t afford to hire someone to clean out his gutters. Now he was dead with what looked to me like a broken neck after the ladder had slipped. He’d taken the plunge into his fancy landscaping—complete with rock garden. But hey, his fucking gutters were clean.
Diana RowlandTags: humor death sarcasm irony dying garden
I've heard that sarcasm is no substitute for cleverness
Meredith DuranTags: sarcasm cleverness
I tried to step back quickly but James grabbed my hand. "C'mon," he said "this'll be fun." Geez... What's your definition of fun? Cuz mines not to possibly get killed my first day here. Or maybe that's just a personal goal, but still...
Bella ShadowThe cops got out of the car and came straight towards me. My first thought was, How hypocritical… They head straight for the kid all in black…
Bella ShadowTags: humor sarcasm cops assassin
As soon as they were spotted, one of the jerk’s buddies pointed at me and said, “Arrest her! She’s the one who killed Zak!”
Why I outta… Wait Zak? I thought we all agreed he was Captain Asshole? Oh, no… Guess that was just me.
Tags: sarcasm bella-shadow
You’re sure you didn’t leave? Didn’t try to explore Thunder Bay again, maybe go down to the park and, I don’t know, dismember some poor jogger?
Kendare BlakeAt this time of year it's easy to forget the true meaning of Christianity - the lies, the corruption, the abuse.
BanksyTags: art christianity religion christmas sarcasm priest abuse
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