She is probably by this time as tired of me, as I am of her; but as she is too Polite and I am too civil to say so, our letters are still as frequent and affectionate as ever, and our Attachment as firm and sincere as when it first commenced.

Jane Austen

Tags: friendship letters satire jane-austen sincerity loyalty polite love-and-friendship pen-pals



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Obama's plan for "change": Let's do everything Bush did, only with more suck! Because it just didn't suck badly enough the first time!

Michelle Templet

Tags: humor politics satire



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Jersey Shore has killed more brain cells than alcohol, cocaine, and meth combined.

Michelle Templet

Tags: humor satire jersey-shore



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Quite possibly the only infinite power in the universe may be the human capacity for self-deception.

Michelle Templet

Tags: humor philosophy satire



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The universe seems to be a lot like a car or a computer, in that it's designed to be user-friendly, which doesn't necessarily require the user to have a clue what's going on under the hood.

Michelle Templet

Tags: science philosophy satire



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My therapist told me that I over-analyze everything. I explained to him that he only thinks this because of his unhappy relationship with his mother.

Michelle Templet

Tags: humor satire mental-illness mental-health-stigma



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General assumptions often lead to erroneous conclusions, but one cannot go far wrong in always assuming that whatever one's government is saying is a lie.

Michelle Templet

Tags: politics satire government



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Presenting a rational argument to a person who has forsaken the use of reason is like asking a vegetarian to eat a cheeseburger.

Michelle Templet

Tags: humor reason satire



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My inner goddess confirms that staring at a beautiful/rich/powerful face is the basis of True Love.

Jess C. Scott

Tags: love true-love romance satire drama obsession parody crime-fiction twilight snark social-criticism snarkiness fifty-shades fifty-shades-of-grey snarky-quotes inner-goddess



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Because I want to have sex with him--and because that's sinful--I'm blushing and flushing furiously under his scrutinizing scrutiny.

Jess C. Scott

Tags: sexuality love sex satire drama obsession parody crime-fiction twilight snark social-criticism stephenie-meyer bad-writing fifty-shades e-l-james fifty-shades-of-grey



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