I tried to picture a bunch of guys in blue suits running around a beachside neighborhood, knocking on doors and flashing Fed creds. That should cause a stampede of illegal aliens heading south.
Nelson DeMille(About a cookbook...)
- What about this one? Maids of Honor?
- Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Honor...but they ends up Tarts.
Tags: humor satire wit witty humorous comebacks retort funny-and-random
You get a promotion?"
"I got a polite, but firm suggestion to be a team player. [...]"
"You got off easy. One of my commanding officers once threw a paperweight at me."
"We're a bit more subtle.
Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions.
Criss JamiTags: humor laughter opinions stupidity be-yourself funny ignorance witty personality clever mockery differences jokes everyone similarities funny-but-true sense-of-humor being-yourself traits comedic personality-types types
Whenever I think of something but can't think of what it was I was thinking of, I can't stop thinking until I think I'm thinking of it again. I think I think too much.
Criss JamiTags: humor thinking insanity philosophy psychology funny thought think ideas wordplay brain witty challenge cognition clever perfectionism contemplation creative mentality cognitive creative-thinking cognitive-psychology excessive
My waist is a 30. The jeans are a 28. When I fart, the Reeboks blow off.
Steve KlugerTags: humor witty self-consciousness
There was a time when skepticism was an act of rebellion. Since to a degree I both believe in evolution and have faith, I can only conclude that, as prophesied, to have faith will someday be an act of rebellion.
Criss JamiTags: truth christianity god religion faith atheism rebels spirituality persecution evolution skepticism witty rebellion progression clever apologetics agnosticism prophecy theism
Once you’ve read too many trashy best-sellers, you begin to look for something with substance, something that attempts to define the universe.
Jessica ZafraTags: truth books fact witty substance best-sellers
It is your turn to say something now, Mr. Darcy. I talked about the dance, and you ought to make some kind of remark on the size of the room, or the number of couples.
Jane AustenHe wasn't aware of it but when he smiled he looked like an amiable bear. When he didn't smile he didn't look amiable
Emma GoldrickTags: humor romance funny smile wit witty hero emma harlequin-special-edition goldrick
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