It is this dependency that became, and is, the breeding ground for abuses of power.
bell hooksMots clés power abuse dependency
But many of us seek community solely to escape the fear of being alone. Knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving. When we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as a means of escape.
bell hooksMots clés fear love solitude loneliness community escape relationship aloneness
The practice of love offers no place of safety. We risk loss, hurt, pain. We risk being acted upon by forces outside our control.
bell hooksMots clés pain love practice loss risk security hurt control force saftey
Choosing to be honest is the first step in the process of love. There is no practitioner of love who deceives. Once the choice has been made to be honest, then the next step on love's path is communication.
bell hooksMots clés honesty love choice communication relationship
While privacy strengthens all our bonds, secrecy weakens and damages connection. Lerner points out that we do not usually "know the emotional costs of keeping a secret" until the truth is disclosed. Usually, secrecy involves lying. And lying is always the setting for potential betrayal and violation of trust.
bell hooksWidespread cultural acceptance of lying is a primary reason many of us will never know love.
bell hooksTrusting that another person always intends your good, having a core foundation of loving practice, cannot exist within a context of deception.
bell hooksLying has become so much the accepted norm that people lie even when it would be simpler to tell the truth.
bell hooksKeeping people in a constant state of lack, in perpetual desire, strengthens the marketplace economy.
bell hooksGiving generously in romantic relationships, and in all other bonds, means recognizing when the other person needs our attention. Attention is an important resource.
bell hooksMots clés romance giving relationship recognition attention bond resource
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