It is this dependency that became, and is, the breeding ground for abuses of power.

bell hooks

Tag: power abuse dependency



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But many of us seek community solely to escape the fear of being alone. Knowing how to be solitary is central to the art of loving. When we can be alone, we can be with others without using them as a means of escape.

bell hooks

Tag: fear love solitude loneliness community escape relationship aloneness



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The practice of love offers no place of safety. We risk loss, hurt, pain. We risk being acted upon by forces outside our control.

bell hooks

Tag: pain love practice loss risk security hurt control force saftey



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Choosing to be honest is the first step in the process of love. There is no practitioner of love who deceives. Once the choice has been made to be honest, then the next step on love's path is communication.

bell hooks

Tag: honesty love choice communication relationship



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While privacy strengthens all our bonds, secrecy weakens and damages connection. Lerner points out that we do not usually "know the emotional costs of keeping a secret" until the truth is disclosed. Usually, secrecy involves lying. And lying is always the setting for potential betrayal and violation of trust.

bell hooks


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Widespread cultural acceptance of lying is a primary reason many of us will never know love.

bell hooks


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Trusting that another person always intends your good, having a core foundation of loving practice, cannot exist within a context of deception.

bell hooks


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Lying has become so much the accepted norm that people lie even when it would be simpler to tell the truth.

bell hooks


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Keeping people in a constant state of lack, in perpetual desire, strengthens the marketplace economy.

bell hooks


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Giving generously in romantic relationships, and in all other bonds, means recognizing when the other person needs our attention. Attention is an important resource.

bell hooks

Tag: romance giving relationship recognition attention bond resource



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