I unwrapped my love for her like one might unwrap leftovers. Gotta eat up the old stuff first, as a cannibal might say in a retirement home.


Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Mots clés humor life age love food time death relationships absurd funny old-age leftovers nonsense retirement cannibalism cannibal retirement-home

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We made love like green is blue. That’s because we were only half into it, though for the record I was the blue and she was the disinterested yellow.


Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Mots clés humor life love passion relationships funny colors color blue green interest yellow disinterest

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Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer.


Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Mots clés humor life love murder death relationships funny game word-junkies

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I make love like never, only less often.


Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Mots clés humor love time funny

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Love isn't two matching unicycles. Love is a bicycle—and mine just got stolen.


Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Mots clés humor love absurd funny

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I am the Trolley of Love. Free rides before noon and after 11:58 am!


Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Mots clés humor money love time free relationships funny trolley-of-love

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I love full on, like 65 mph in a handicapped parking spot.


Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Mots clés humor life love relationships absurd funny nonsense car parking handicapped disabled

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Let me be clear: I don’t want to make love to a mannequin—I want to make love like a mannequin. Oh, if only I were that animated in bed.


Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Mots clés humor life love sex relationships funny clarity bed making-love animated mannequin

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Love is a banana. First you peel it, and then you roll on the condom.


Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Mots clés humor love food sex funny fruit naughty banana peel condom

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I am in love, and the river is beginning to ice over. I’d better go drown myself before I freeze to death.


Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Mots clés humor love nature death water relationships funny winter river cold freezing ice freeze drown

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