You can’t have him, okay,” she said from behind the wire barrier.
“Mm-hmm,” I whispered.
“This is certainly a beautiful neighborhood.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“I will scratch those eyes out of your ugly head.

Darynda Jones

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Does your uncle need anything? A coffee? A latte?”
“He needs someone to bear his illegitimate child if you’re interested

Darynda Jones

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Oh, I forgot to tell you," Cookie said. "Amber wants your dad to get a teriyaki machine so she can sing for all the lonely barflies."

"I'm a good singer, mom."

Only a twelve-year-old could make the word mom sound blasphemous.

I leaned into Cookie, "Does she know its not called--?"

"No," she whispered.

"Are you gonna tell her?"


"No. It's much funnier this way.

Darynda Jones

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Whatever makes your balloon red, Swopes.

Darynda Jones

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See you in a few. Hold down the fort, Mr. Wong!

Darynda Jones

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Is a frog’s ass watertight?

Darynda Jones

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Come here often?' I asked instead, humoring no one but myself. So it was totally worth it.

Darynda Jones

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Luego clavó su mirada ardiente en mí y ladeó la cabeza con interés—. Holandesa. —Me ofreció una última mirada, una mirada llena de promesas y deseo, antes de retroceder y cerrar la puerta.
Nos quedamos las tres allí de pie, con la mandíbula por los suelos. La tía Lil fue la primera en recuperarse. Me dio un leve codazo y dijo con un cacareo alegre:
—Chicas, creo que deberíais hacer más pastelitos de chocolate de esos, porque ese muchacho parece hambriento.

Darynda Jones

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I stood and walked around the desk so I could stand over him. Menacingly. Like Darth Vader, only with better lung capacity.

Darynda Jones

Mots clés humor star-wars

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Ambulances were cool. “You just want to fondle my extraneous body parts,” I said to the EMT as I picked up a silver gadget that looked disturbingly like an alien orifice probe, broke it, then promptly put it back, hoping it wouldn’t leave someone’s life hanging in the balance because the EMT couldn’t alien-probe his orifices.

Darynda Jones

Mots clés humor aliens

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