And, well, that's my story," I said. "I'm sorry that it's so, you know. Retarded.

David Wong

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Scientists talk about dark matter, the invisible, mysterious substance that occupies the space between stars. Dark matter makes up 99.99 percent of the universe, and they don't know what it is. Well I do. It's apathy. That's the truth of it; pile together everything we know and care about in the universe and it will still be nothing more than a tiny speck in the middle of a vast black ocean of Who Gives a Fuck.

David Wong

Mots clés humor science apathy stars universe

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The situation has a real Lovecraft feel to it. Though, you know, if you come over it'll be more of an Anne Rice situation. If you know what I mean."
"Who's-"
"Because you're gay.

David Wong

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She sat one of the fluffy cats in my lap and stuffed the other down my shirt. She turned and left.

'There,' said the large man. 'The kittens will make your sad go away.

David Wong

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There is no word in the English language for the feeling someone gets when they suddenly realize they're standing next to an unholy monster impersonating a human. Monstralization, maybe?

David Wong

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I keep the gun in a hollowed out copy of the Koran. And there the big book was, tossed on the bed, open and gunless. Nothing else disturbed. I mean, they actually checked my Koran to see if there was a gun inside. I knew I was dealing with a sick son of a bitch.

David Wong

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You see, Frank found out the hard way that the dark things lurking in the night don’t haunt old houses or abandoned ships. They haunt minds.

David Wong

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Every man is blessed with his gifts from the Lord. One of mine happens to be a penis large enough that, if it had a penis of its own, my penis’s penis would be larger than your penis.

David Wong

Mots clés humor

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You don't realize how terrifying the world can be for someone like that, someone who would rather stay in a familiar hole than an unfamiliar mansion.

David Wong

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I picked up the phone and dialed up John on his cell. One ring, and then-

"I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE, VINNY!"

"John?"

"Oh, Dave. Sorry. I had been having a heated argument here on my phone and then I hung up in disgust. Then when the phone rang I just assumed, without checking, that it was the person I was having an argument with so I just blindly shouted insults into the phone. How embarrassing."

"I’m getting sick of that one, John.

David Wong

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