Elysia!" Driggs interrupted. "Slow the hell down."
She grinned at Lex. "Sorry. I talk a lot when I get excited."
"That's okay," Lex said with an impish nod. "We all have our flaws. Driggs here loves Titanic."
"Really??"
Driggs folded his arms and studied the girls. "I can already see the ramifications of an alliance between you two. And they are troublesome.
It suddenly occurred to both Driggs and Lex, in that very same instant, that neither of them wanted anything more in the world than to tear off every single piece of each other's clothes and make wild, passionate, messy adolescent love under the radiant glow of the full moon.
Their chests rose and fell. A few seconds passed.
"I'm going to sleep," Driggs panted, clambering off the roof.
"Me too," Lex huffed, right behind him.
And without another word they fled to their rooms, slammed the doors, and threw themselves into bed, where they both spent the next five hours dazedly contemplating their respective ceilings.
Onion ring?" Zara said, handing her a leftover carton.
As everyone knows, the offer of an onion ring is not to be taken lightly. Onion rings are far more valuable than their throwaway side dish counterparts -- french fries and potato chips -- and, as such, have brought about numerous reconciliations throughout history.
Why, you want me to hook you two up?"
Cordy eyed her, then let out a grunt. "Could you? Michael Thorley turned out to be an assclown, and the rest of this place is nothing but a barren wasteland of undateability. The only guy who's shown the slightest amount of interest in me this summer is Mr. Papadopoulos on the third floor of the nursing home. He says I have the ass of a Russian call girl."
"Ah, senility.
Broccoli spaceship. Broccoli SPACESHIP!
Gina DamicoDriggs whispered to Lex out of the side of his mouth as they walked, "I never got grounded before you came here."
"You never touched a boob before I came here either."
"Touché." He flashed a goofy grin as Uncle Mort shoved him into his room and slammed the door. "Worth it!
Poison? Drugs?"
"No chemical works that instantly. You saw the guy - it looked like he was still reading his program."
"Then what, magical fairy dust? Vulcan death grip?"
"Focus, Lex. Wake up that lonely brain cell.
Are we going to unload these things?" she asked, a trace of nervousness creeping into her voice. "They're starting to gross me out."
"They're just souls."
"But they're warm. Like eggs. I feel like a spawning salmon.
What?" he asked.
"Nothing. Your bony hands of death amuse me, that's all."
"Wait until yours look the same," he said, preparing to scythe.
"Wait - what?" She batted the sapphire blade out of his hands. "What do you mean? Is that why everyone around here has such creepy fingers?"
"Yeah." He bent down to pick up his scythe. "I don't know why it happens, though. Probably the same weird reason our hair goes all wonky."
"What?" she barked, knocking his scythe to the ground once more.
"Stop that!"
"What happens to our hair?"
He gestured to the disaster atop his head. "You think I want to look like a drunken hedgehog all the time? It's from hanging out in the ether so much. It messes with your follicles or something. Doesn't happen to everyone, but I can assure you that Ferbus's wasn't always the color of a prison jumpsuit, Zara wasn't born Silvylocks, and Mort's been rocking the electrocution look for years. Look, yours has gotten straighter already."
Lex ran a hand through her hair. It had lost some of its poofyness. There had been so many other circuses of insanity to deal with that she hadn't even noticed. It was calm, manageable, even - she shuddered to think it - sleek and shiny.
"Oh my God," she said in disgust. "I'm a shampoo commercial.
Hey, one week, huh, Lex?" he said, tossing her a Cuff. "Here's your graduation gift."
"Sweet." she slid it onto her wrist. It felt cool, with a slight vibration to it. "Thanks."
"So, you feel all trained up? Driggs teach you everything he knows?"
"Yes. I'm now fully qualified to operate a can opener."
Driggs let out a sigh. "What a lovable scamp you've bestowed upon our fair town, Mort."
"My pleasure," he said to Driggs.
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