An award would be more prestigious if it came with a supplemental income for a year, so you could focus on repeating your title.

Jarod Kintz


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The glove compartment of my car is empty, but one of these days, I’m going to fill it with an assortment of gloves—everything from boxing gloves to the oven mitts I used when I burned my last bridge.

Jarod Kintz


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Who art thou, Art? Do you make art the way I make love—with a paintbrush?

Jarod Kintz


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My future, it almost looks like Christmas—red and green—stop and go.

Jarod Kintz


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There’s money to be made with a name like Cash. I should print myself into popularity.

Jarod Kintz


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In a relationship, I’m committed to giving her 100% of 50%.

Jarod Kintz


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The bands of color in a rainbow remind me of my band, Bands of Color. We’re not very musical, but we sure are bright.

Jarod Kintz


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Messages written across the chest of women’s t-shirts are great, because I can stare at their tits like they are literature.

Jarod Kintz


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Today is 8-9-10. August, 9, 2010. So hooray for Chronologically Ascending Day!

Jarod Kintz


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The chain of command, I wear it around my neck.

Jarod Kintz


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