A brick could be used as a way to motivate yourself to succeed. I’m proof that it works. It’s how I managed to get second to last in my last race. 


Jarod Kintz


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A brick is like fruitcake. You don’t want to use it up all at once, and in fact, you don’t want to use it up at all. Well, if you won’t use it, then give it to someone who will. Every other Christmas I get the gift of fruitcake—and I think it’s the same loaf that I gave to that person the year before.


Jarod Kintz


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A brick could be used as a cock block. 


Jarod Kintz


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A blanket could be used to create another way. There is no other way but to make another way. We simply must!


Jarod Kintz


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A brick could be used as a deodorant deterrent. Just ask any stinky Congressman.

Jarod Kintz


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A brick could be used to help you keep your job. Just hold it down, man.


Jarod Kintz


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A brick could be used to enslave humanity. No wait, a brick can’t do that—but the Masons can.


Jarod Kintz


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A blanket could be twirled in the air, like a new idea in your mind, and then either discarded or folded up like a wearable memory.


Jarod Kintz


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A brick could be used as a scapegoat. But don’t blame the brick. The brick didn’t kill my mother-in-law. It was merely the instrument I utilized in showing her how much I loved her.


Jarod Kintz


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A brick could be used to prop open the door to my heart. But you might not want to leave the Love Door open, because my ex just shit all in there.


Jarod Kintz


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