I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.

Oscar Levant


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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

Oscar Levant


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You can't possibly hear the last movement of Beethoven's Seventh and go slow. (Oscar trying to talk his way out of a speeding ticket)

Oscar Levant


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Once I make up my mind, I'm full of indecision.

Oscar Levant


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A pun is the lowest form of humor—when you don't think of it first.

Oscar Levant

Mots clés humor pun



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When I can't sleep, I read a book by Steve Allen.

Oscar Levant


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On Ira Gershwin:
I remember when he was given the manuscript of a novel written by a woman friend who had hopes of having it published. To his astonishment it turned out to be the dirtiest, most pornographic book he had ever read. When the lady mentioned that she intended to use a nom de plume, Ira suggested she call herself Henrietta Miller.

Oscar Levant

Mots clés humor



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I'm controversial. My friends either dislike me or hate me

Oscar Levant

Mots clés friendship



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First I brush my teeth and then I sharpen my tongue.

Oscar Levant

Mots clés misattributed-dorothy-parker



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There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.

Oscar Levant

Mots clés arrogance dogmatism



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