Senator John Kyle claiming that over 90 percent of what Planned Parenthood does is abortion.

Stephen Colbert: Over 90 percent, that is unbelievable...in that it is not true. Only 3 percent of what Planned Parenthood does is abortion. Kyle just rounded it up to the nearest 90.

Stephen Colbert

Mots clés humor politics republicans colbert gop



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America used to live by the motto "Father Knows Best." Now we're lucky if "Father Knows He Has Children." We've become a nation of sperm donors and baby daddies.

Stephen Colbert

Mots clés humor children funny babies fathers



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The more you know, the sadder you get.

Stephen Colbert


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It's official. Highway patrolmen are not susceptible to the Jedi Mind Trick.

Stephen Colbert

Mots clés humor police



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I hold a little fundraiser every day. Its called going to work.

Stephen Colbert

Mots clés work



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Christianity is the best way to cure gayness—just get on your knees, take a swig of wine, and accept the body of a man into your mouth.

Stephen Colbert


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I may be just an empty flesh terminal reliant on technology for all my ideas, memories and relationships, but I am confident that all of that everything that makes me a unique human being is still out there somewhere, safe in a theoretical storage space owned by giant, multinational corporations.

Stephen Colbert

Mots clés humor memory the-cloud



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Unlike Paul Newman, who seems to think that salad dressing is the cure-all for America's ills, I'm a man of action.

Stephen Colbert


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Think books aren't scary? Well, think about this: You can't spell "Book" without "Boo!

Stephen Colbert


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The [Motion Picture Production Code] took effect on March 31, 1930, 5 months too late to prevent the Wall Street Crash, but early enough to keep The Sixties from happening until approximately 1964. (When America fell victim to the British Invasion).

Stephen Colbert


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