I never hold a grudge. As soon as I get even with the son-of-a bitch, I forget it.

W.C. Fields


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Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill?

Oh, thank goodness... I thought I'd lost it.

W.C. Fields


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Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, "You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump!

W.C. Fields


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Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

W.C. Fields

Mots clés humor belief drinking



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Never give a sucker an even break.

W.C. Fields


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Children should neither be seen nor heard from – ever again.

W.C. Fields


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If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

W.C. Fields

Mots clés humor success



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There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.

W.C. Fields


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Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

W.C. Fields


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I don't drink water. Fish fuck in it.

W.C. Fields


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