Tea should be as bitter as wormwod and as sharp as a two eged sword
Kit Snicket (a series of unfortunate events)

Lemony Snicket

Mots clés humor funny tea lemony-snicket series-of-unfortunate-events

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May a man live well-, and long-enough, to leave many joyful widows behind him.

Roman Payne

Mots clés humor men women humour funny living dying widows roman payne

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Over the road there was a church: a modern gray building, which constantly played a recording of church bells. Strange it was. Why no proper bells? I never went in but I bet it was a robot church for androids, where the Bible was in binary and their Jesus had laser eyes and metal claws.

Russell Brand

Mots clés humor church funny comedy robots

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The funniest people are the saddest ones

Confucius

Mots clés people funny sad

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I’m not aspiring to be someone else – If I’m me for the rest of my life then so be it

Terry Lander

Mots clés life poetry inspiration humour funny aspiration comedy

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I wish my nose would blow me for once.

Brian Celio

Mots clés humor funny

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There are many other little refinements too, Mr. Bohlen. You'll see them all when you study the plans carefully. For example, there's a trick that nearly every writer uses, of inserting at least one long, obscure word into each story. This makes the reader think that the man is very wise and clever. So I have the machine do the same thing. There'll be a whole stack of long words stored away just for this purpose."
Where?"
In the 'word-memory' section," he said, epexegetically.

Roald Dahl

Mots clés humor humour funny comedy

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One thing I will say, they often take it better than a man. Pain, that is. Probably the residue of tolerance from when they were all bloody witches and got stoned or burned or drowned for it, eh lad? Never tell your mother I said that, by the way.

Sarah Hall

Mots clés funny

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That boy may have been born on third base but he sure as shit ain’t scored a triple.

Sarah Hall

Mots clés funny

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Save your explanations, I got some questions for you first and you'd better answer them!' [slurred Hellian.]
'With what?' [Banaschar] sneered. 'Explanations?'
'No. Answers. There's a difference-'
'Really? How? What difference?'
'Explanations are what people use when they need to lie. Y'can always tell those,'cause those don't explain nothing and then they look at you like they just cleared things up when really they did the opposite and they know it and you know it and they know you know and you know they know that you know and they know you and you know them and maybe you go out for a pitcher later but who picks up the tab? That's what I want to know.'
'Right, and answers?'
'Answers is what I get when I ask questions. Answers is when you got no choice. I ask, you tell. I ask again, you tell some more. Then I break your fingers, 'cause I don't like what you're telling me, because those answers don't explain nothing!

Steven Erikson

Mots clés humor philosophy funny wordplay answers explanations drunk priest banaschar hellian malazan-book-of-the-fallen sergeant the-bonehunters

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