I discovered the bleeding when he licked my hand and left a swath of blood behind, death's autograph.

Augusten Burroughs

Tag: death-and-dying



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I slipped on a turtleneck, laughing when my head became stuck in the turtle part. If they weren't called turtlenecks, I wouldn't have worn them.

Augusten Burroughs

Tag: humor childhood memories



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I'm lonely. And I'm lonely in some horribly deep way and for a flash of an instant, I can see just how lonely, and how deep this feeling runs. And it scares the shit out of me to be this lonely because it seems catastrophic.

Augusten Burroughs

Tag: sadness loneliness sorrow sad lonely



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Unconditional love. That's what this is. I love him, as is, fully. I've had to stop arm wrestling with the facts. Why me? Didn't I already have a big love once? And lost it? So why should I get it again? I've had to stop trying to look for cracks and flaws to prove that it's not as good as it seems. Because it's as good as it seems. Even when we fight, we fight inside the container of good.

Somehow, through a flip of the coin, I ended up here. Feeling like somebody at the top of the heart-lung transplant recipient list. Damaged but invigorated and fucking lucky.

Augusten Burroughs


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When I ate vanilla frosting straight from the can, I could feel God standing right next to me like a real best friend, watching, and smiling, and wishing he had a mouth.

Augusten Burroughs


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Stars should not be seen alone. That's why there are so many. Two people should stand together and look at them. One person alone will surely miss the good ones.

Augusten Burroughs


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I saw a monkey walking on a leash and thought it was an ugly foreign child.

Augusten Burroughs


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Although my parents never attended church or mentioned Jesus except when they screamed at each other—and then they used his full name, 'Jesus Fucking Christ

Augusten Burroughs


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I felt deeply tricked. Stunned. And furious. I also felt my default emotion: numbness.

Augusten Burroughs


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He was raised without a proper diagnosis.

Augusten Burroughs


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