Charlie found himself affecting the Emperor's formal speech patterns, as if somehow he had been transported to a royal court where a nobleman was distinguished by the crumbs in his beard and the royal guard were not above licking their balls.
Christopher MooreThe image of a well-dressed older woman making on a goopish spoonful of artificial boon spooge was running across the lobes of his brain like a stuttering nightmare.
Christopher MooreFaith isn't an act of intelligence, it's an act of imagination.
Christopher MooreWords, words, words, a million million words circle in my head like hawks, waiting to dive onto the page to rend and tear the only two words I want to write.
Why me?
Confucius is like the Torah, rules to follow. And Lao-Tzu is even more conservative, saying that if you do nothing you won't break any rules. You have to let tradition fall sometime, you have to take action, you have to eat bacon.
Christopher MooreJealousy makes you feel bad, but God is jealous, so it must be good. Yet when a dog licks its balls it seems to enjoy it, but it must be bad under the law.
Christopher MooreI try to stick to one, single rule, “If you don’t have anything to say, shut the fuck up.” I think that’s in the Bible or something.
Christopher MooreA woman’s magazine quiz:
Question: You decide to do the dread deed and just as things are starting to get hot he comes, rolls over, and asks, “Was it good for you?”
You:
a. Say, “God, yes! That was the best seventeen seconds of my life”
b. Say, “Sure, as good as it gets for me with a man.”
c. Put a Certs in your navel and say, “That’s for you, Mr. Bunnyman. You can have it on your way back up, after the job is finished
Dovevi comportati bene con il prossimo, anche con i leccapiedi. E se:
a) Credevi che Gesù fosse il Figlio di Dio
b) Credevi che fosse venuto a salvarti dal peccato
c) Riconoscevi la presenza dello Spirito Santo dentro di te (tornavi bambino, diceva lui)
d) Non bestemmiavi contro il suddetto Spirito (vedi c)
Allora:
e) Avresti vissuto in eterno
f) In un posto fichissimo
g) Probabilmente in paradiso
Se invece
h) Peccavi (e/o)
i) Ti comportavi da ipocrita (e/o)
j) Davi più importanza alle cose che alle persone (e/o)
k) Non facevi quanto elencato ai punti a, b, c, d
Eri semplicemente
l) fottuto
Tag: narrativa-americana
He always had a problem with the purity of others. Never his own.
Christopher MooreTag: humor
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