Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent?
Dave BarryI would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories.
Dave BarryIt is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.
Dave BarryTag: humor men babies pregnancy
As you get older; you've probably noticed that you tend to forget things. You'll be talking with somebody at a party, and you'll know that you know this person, but no matter how hard you try, you can't remember his or her name. This can be very embarassing, especially if he or she turns out to be your spouse.
Dave BarryI believe it was Shakespeare, or possibly Howard Cosell, who first observed that marriage is very much like a birthday candle, in that 'the flames of passion burn brightest when the wick of intimacy is first ignited by the disposable butane lighter of physical attraction, but sooner or later the heat of familiarity causes the wax of boredom to drip all over the vanilla frosting of novelty and the shredded coconut of romance.' I could not have phrased it better myself.
Dave BarryTag: humor shakespeare marriage
The metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
Dave BarryI think Superman should go on the Larry King show and announce that he would come back to life if people in all 50 states wanted him to.
Dave BarryThe United States tried, by depressing the clutch of diplomacy and downshifting the gearshift lever of rhetoric, to remain neutral, but it became increasingly obvious that the nation was going to get into a war, especially since it was almost 1812.
Dave BarryI am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.
Dave BarryTag: computers
Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
Dave BarryTag: dance
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