Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.
Dave BarryA person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
Dave BarryGuys care about sports teams. I'm not talking about simply rooting; I'm talking about a relationship that guys develop, a commitment to a sport team that guys take way more seriously than, for example, wedding vows.
Dave BarryIf a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.
Dave BarryMeetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.
Dave BarryDirectors are always changing things at the last minute. Actors will do a scene, and the director will say, ‘Okay, that was perfect, but this time, Bob, instead of saying “What’s for dinner?” you say, “Wait a minute! Benzene is actually a hydrocarbon!” And say it with a Norwegian accent. Also, we think maybe your character should have no arms.
Dave BarryTag: humor
The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremendous boredom.
Dave BarryYou should not confuse your career with your life.
Dave BarryTag: work profession
Which, as any American high school student can tell you, was an act that apparently had something to do with stamps.
Dave BarryYour hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain.
Dave BarryTag: chocolate
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