Oh my god you're thicker than you look
Derek LandyI'm placing you under arrest for murder, conspiracy to commit murder and, I don't know, possibly littering.
Derek LandyTag: funny
Every solution to every problem is simple. It's the distance between the two where the mystery lies.
Derek LandyTag: simplicity problems mystery solutions
I need a weapon,” Valkyrie muttered.
“You’re an Elemental with a Necromancer ring, trained in
a variety of martial arts by some of the best fighters in the world,” Skulduggery pointed out. “I’m fairly certain that makes you a weapon.”
“I mean a weapon you hold. You have a gun, Tanith has a sword... I want a stick.”
“I’ll buy you a stick for Christmas.
Tag: humour christmas weapon stick skulduggery
Don’t kill me,” he sobbed as he lay there. “Oh God, please don’t kill me.”
“If you had let me finish,” Skulduggery said, slightly annoyed, “you would have heard me say, ‘Come out, we’re not
going to hurt you’. Idiot.”
“He probably wouldn’t have said idiot,” Valkyrie told the sobbing man. “We’re trying our best to be nice.”
The man blinked through his tears, and looked up.
“You’re... You’re not going to kill me?”
“No, we’re not,” Valkyrie said gently, “so long as you wipe your nose right now.
Tag: idiot nice skulduggery mortal-coil
I love you all, even those I don’t particularly like. That’s you, Beryl.
Derek LandyTag: love humour skulduggery-pleasant gordon-edgley
Stephanie could see the greed seep into the watery eyes of her
father’s other brother, a horrible little man called Fergus, as he
nodded sadly and spoke sombrely and pocketed the silverware
when he thought no one was looking
Tag: humour sad steal silverware
Have you killed anyone?” she asked quickly.
“What? Did you miss what I said, about turning murder into
an art form?”
“But you haven’t actually killed anyone yet, have you? I read
your file.”
He glowered. “Technically, yeah, all right, maybe I haven’t
Do you think we’ll be waiting long?” Valkyrie asked,
keeping her voice low.
“The last time we were in this building, we accused the
Grand Mage of being a traitor,” Skulduggery said. “Yes, I think
we’ll be waiting long.
Tag: waiting traitor skulduggery
Her father sagged as relief spread through him. “I thought
something awful was happening.”
She frowned. “Something awful was happening. It could have
got stuck in my hair.
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