Scapegrace leaped up. “I am the Killer Supreme! I make
murder into an art form!”
Skulduggery hit him again and Scapegrace did a little twirl
before falling.
Tag: skulduggery twirl killer-supreme scapegrace
Stephanie had no problem doing what she
was told, just so long as she was given a good reason why she
should.
Tag: reason stephanie skulduggery-pleasant
It’s fairly standard. Also, I’m fourteen. Also, your
beard’s stupid.”
“Isn’t this fun?” Skulduggery said brightly. “The three of us
getting along so well.
Valkyrie Cain got out of the passenger side. She zipped up
her black jacket against the cold, and joined Skulduggery as he
walked up to the front door. She glanced at him, and saw that he was smiling.
"Stop doing that,” she sighed.
“Stop doing what?” Skulduggery responded in that gloriously velvet voice of his.
“Stop smiling. The person we want to talk to lives in the only dark house on a bright street. That’s not a good sign.”
“I didn’t realise I was smiling,” he said.
They stopped at the door, and Skulduggery made a concerted effort to shift his features. His mouth twitched
downwards. “Am I smiling now?”
“No.”
“Excellent,” he said, and the smile immediately sprang back up.
Tag: smile skulduggery-pleasant valkyrie-cain
The rain battered the cottage. Valkyrie risked a look up at Skulduggery.
“What is it?” she whispered.
“It’s a box,” he whispered back.
“What kind of box?”
“A wooden one.”
She gave him a look.
Tag: box skulduggery-pleasant valkyrie-cain death-bringer
Valkyrie patted Fletcher’s arm. “Don’t worry,” she said. “If the bad man comes, I’ll protect you.”
“If the bad man comes,” Fletcher responded, “I’ll bravely give out a high-pitched scream to distract him. I may even bravely faint, to give him a false sense of security. That will be your signal to strike.”
“We make a great team.”
“Just don’t forget to stand in front of me the whole time,” he said.
Tag: humour protection bad-man
The man had a smooth voice, like velvet. “I’m Detective Inspector Me. Unusual name, I know. My family were incredibly
narcissistic. I’m lucky I escaped with any degree of humility at all, to be honest, but then I’ve always managed to exceed expectations. You are Kenny Dunne, are you not?”
“I am.”
“Just a few questions for you, Mr Dunne. Or Kenny. Can I call you Kenny? I feel we’ve become friends these past few seconds. Can I call you Kenny?”
“Sure,” Kenny said, slightly baffled.
“Thank you. Thank you very much. It’s important you feel comfortable around me, Kenny. It’s important we build up a level of trust. That way I’ll catch you completely unprepared when I
suddenly accuse you of murder.
Tag: murder humour accuse death-bringer
Look, this is all very, very weird. Why are you focusing on rumours and urban legends? You haven’t even asked me any
normal questions.”
“Normal questions? Like what?”
“Like, I don’t know, like if Lynch had any enemies.”
“Did Lynch have any enemies?”
“Well, not that I know of, no.”
“Then there really was no point in me asking that, was there? Unless you wanted to distract me. You didn’t want to distract me, did you, Kenny?”
“No, that’s not—”
“Are you playing a game with me, Kenny?”
“I don’t know what you’re—”
Inspector Me leaned forward. “Did you kill him?”
“No!”
“It’d be OK if you did.”
Kenny recoiled, horrified. “How would that be OK?”
“Well,” Me said, “maybe not
Tag: weird interrogation normal urban-legends skulduggery-pleasant
I love stories with a happy ending,” Inspector Me said.
Derek LandyTag: happy skulduggery inspector-me
Mum said earlier what a lovely dress
you’re wearing.”
Beryl’s eyebrows wriggled like two tiny tapeworms. “This?” she said. “But I’ve had this for years.”
It was a beige dress that would have looked better on an eighty year-old. Any eighty-year-old, man or woman.
“I think you’ve really grown into it,” Valkyrie said.
“I always thought it was a little shapeless.”
Valkyrie resisted the urge to say that was what she meant.
Tag: style sarcastic shapeless
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