I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy.
George CarlinCatholic, which I was until I reached the age of reason
George CarlinMy mother would say, 'Why are you always playing alone?' And I would say, 'I'm not playin', Ma. I'm fuckin' serious!
George CarlinI was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show.
George CarlinTag: humor childhood hip bambi strippers
There's this man who lives in the sky, and he has ten things he doesn't want you to do, and you'll burn for a long time if you do them. But he loves you.
George CarlinMostra la citazione in tedesco
Mostra la citazione in francese
Mostra la citazione in italiano
The symphony orchestra had played poorly, so the conductor was in a bad mood. That night he beat his wife--because the music hadn't been beautiful enough.
George CarlinTag: humor
She was only a prostitute, but she had the nicest face I ever came across.
George CarlinThe safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store.
George CarlinTag: humor earthquakes
There are ten thousand people in the United States in a persistent vegetative state. Just enough to start a small town. Think of them as veggie-burghers.
George CarlinTag: humor
Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it's trying to save its body.
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