I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to.
George CarlinA cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
George CarlinTag: humor
Sore loser? You bet your fuckin' ass! What on earth is wrong with being a sore loser? It shows you cared about whatever the contest was in the first place. Fuck losing graciously-that's for chumps. And losers, by the way.
George CarlinTag: humor funny sore-loser
If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely?
George CarlinTag: humor death funny-but-true
Personally, if I were trying to discourage people from smoking, my sign would be a little different. In fact, I might even go too far in the opposite direction. My sign would say something like, "Smoke if you wish. But if you do, be prepared for the following series of events: First, we will confiscate your cigarette and extinguish it somewhere on the surface of your skin. We will then run you nicotine-stained fingers through a paper shredder and throw them into the street, where wild dogs will swallow them and then regurgitate them into the sewers, so that infected rats can further soil them before they're flushed out to sea with the rest of the city's filth. After such time, we will sysematically seek out your friends and loved one and destroy their lives."
Wouldn't you like to see a sign like that?
When it comes to God's existence, I'm not an atheist and I'm not agnostic. I'm an acrostic. The whole thing puzzles me.
George CarlinThey don't want an educated populace capable of critical thought, sitting around the kitchen table realizing how badly they're getting fucked!
George CarlinWe're all fucked. It helps to remember this.
George CarlinFuck the drug war. Dropping acid was a profound turning point for me, a seminal experience. I make no apologies for it. More people should do acid. It should be sold over the counter.
George CarlinLife is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away.
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