All those things that werent supposed to happen? They happened. What happens next is up to you.

Hank Moody

Tag: things-that-happen



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The groom should not see you in the dress just before the wedding, that’s bad luck. You know what’s worst luck? Is getting married, itself. I’ve read studies. It’s like 2 out of 3 of those end in divorce, sometimes more. 3 out of 2, some.

Hank Moody

Tag: humour marriage divorce marriage-humor divorce-humor



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Smell you later.

Hank Moody


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Whatever you do, don’t be another brick in the wall!

Hank Moody


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Once upon a time, I wrote a book. People seemed to dig it, so I wrote another and one after that. That’s when Hollywood came knocking at my back door. As soon as I cashed that check, I wrapped my lips around the mighty erection that is the film industry and sucked hard, just like a good whore should. Unfortunately, I had to be taught not to orphan the balls.

Hank Moody

Tag: hollywood films-based-on-novels film-industry



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I google myself but I never cheated on you. Never.

Hank Moody

Tag: google cheating



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You know why love stories have happy endings?” I shake my head.
“Because they end too early,” she continues. “They always end right at the kiss. You never have to see all the bullshit that comes later. You know, Life.

Hank Moody

Tag: life love-stories happy-endings



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I don’t think that’s it. I think everybody’s got that special someone that gets under their skin and doesn’t go away. I think maybe you have that particular fungal property for him.

Hank Moody


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Don’t worry, your prayers have been answered. I’m leaving.

Hank Moody


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Oh, I always encourage women to come. It does not always happen, but I like to think that I’m at least encouraging.

Hank Moody


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