When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny YoungmanI told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
Henny YoungmanTag: humor
Some have been thought brave because they were afraid to run away.
Henny YoungmanI once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
Henny YoungmanTag: humor-atheism
A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started.
Henny YoungmanWhen you battle with your conscience and lose, you win.
Henny YoungmanTag: rabp
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.
Henny YoungmanTag: men women marriage relationships funny
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Henny YoungmanIf at first you don't succeed... So much for skydiving.
Henny Youngman„Докторът казал на един пациент, че му остават още 6 месеца жевот. Пациентът не можал да си плати сметката, и докторът му дал още 6 месеца.
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