The afternoon and the early evening slide by in a lidded daze where the ability to think in any identifiable way disappears and where every moment seems to be an eternity.
James FreyTag: inspirational drugs a-million-little-pieces james
I wonder why they still love me and why I can't love them back and how two normal stable people could have created something like me, lived with something like me, and tolerated something like me.
James FreyI think about her. I think about the first time I saw her.. I had a book in my hand and I was reading and for some reason I looked up...She didn't see me. She didn't see me, but I saw her.
James FreyShe made me feel better than I have ever felt, better than I imagined I could feel, and it scared me, it scared me to the point of paralysis.
James FreyI want as much time in the darkness as I can possibly have. The darkness provides cover, the darkness provides places to hide and the darkness provides comfort. Darkness usually comes around dinner, but dinner would be too obvious.
James FreyIts not just a smile of momentary happiness. When it disappears from my face, it will stay with me.
James FreyI think God is something that people use to avoid reality. I think faith allows people to reject what is right in front of our eyes, which is that thing, this life, this existence, this consciousness, or whatever word you want to use for it, is all we have, and all we'll ever have. I think people have faith because they want and need to believe in something, whatever that something is, because life can be hard and depressing and brutal if you don't.
James FreyShe is becoming what I wanted she the last with the Arctic eyes to become, which is someone who loves me. Simply and truly as I am. It is hard to stare at her because I know she is starting to love me, I am starting to love her back. I don't care what she's done or who she's done it with, I don't care about whatever demons may be in her closet. I care about how she makes me feel and she makes me feel strong and safe and calm and warm and true. It is hard to stare because I am forced to contemplate giving it up. It is hard to stare, but I do it anyway.
James FreyTag: love a-million-little-pieces
I think men who can cry are strong men
James FreyI think love is a rare thing in the World. If you think you have it with this Girl, then fuck whoever tries to stop you and fuck their Rules. Take the risk and do whatever you can do and try not to get caught. If you do get caught, do it again.
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