Love only brought me lonliness and horror.
James FreyI hold beneath pale green.
James FreyI sit and I listen to John cry and I wish there was something I could do to help him. I sit and I listen and I wish there was some way I could make it better. There is no hope for John, no hope at all. He could go to five hundred Clinics and spend ten years working the Twelve Steps and it wouldn't make a bit of fucking difference. He has been broken beyond repair, wounded beyond the point of healing, abused beyond the point of recovery. He will never know happiness or joy, security, or normalcy. He will never know pleasure, satisfaction, serenity, clarity, peace of mind or any semblance of sanity. He will never know or trust love. You poor, sick, sad Motherfucker. You will never know. I'm sorry.
James FreyAs we stand to leave, I look across the dining hall and through the glass at Lilly. She is smiling at me and the smile hurts.
James FreyI've been alone my whole life, I can't do it anymore.
James FreyShe talks of the desertion. How each time it broke her heart. How with each break it became harder to heal.
James FreyThere is one thing. One thing that haunts me from page one to page twenty-two. I have never spoken of it. I have never told another person
James FreyI often think of death.
True.
Suicide is a reasonable option.
True.
My sins are unpardonable.
I stare at the question.
My sins are unpardonable.
I stare at the question.
My sins are unpardonable.
I leave it blank.
Tag: despair suicide guilt hopelessness
People don't want to accept the responsibility for their own weakness, so they place the blame on something that they're not responsible for, like disease or genetics.
James FreyThe one word love means too little for what it is. It means everything and that is still not enough. It doesn't communicate even a fraction of the feelings involved. Love. The word is not enough for what it is. Love. Love.
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