His can of pepper spray was bigger than my can of pepper spray.

Janet Evanovich


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Connie drove a silver Camry with rosary beads hanging from her rearview mirror and a Smith

Janet Evanovich

Tag: humor preparedness



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It's not a good idea to mess with a woman who has a pimple

Janet Evanovich


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He’s sort of a homeless horse,” I said.
“I’m leaving for the airport in two seconds, and I won’t be back for a couple days. You can put the horse in the garage, but I don’t want that horse in my apartment.”
“Who would put a horse in an apartment? That’s dumb.”
“Where’s the horse staying now?”
“My apartment.”
“I can always count on you to brighten my day,” Ranger said. And he disconnected.

Janet Evanovich

Tag: humorous



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The rain started a few minutes later, a fine mist at first, growing more steady as the miles flew by. The Mercedes hummed along, following the ribbon of road. The night enveloped us, the darkness broken only by the lights on the dash.
All the comforts of a womb with the technology of a jet airplane cockpit

Janet Evanovich

Tag: ranger cars stephanie-plum



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I can give you a better 'and then'," Ranger said.

Janet Evanovich

Tag: oohlala



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I slipped the acres of pink taffeta over my head and struggled to get it zipped. What had originally been a dress from the Little House on the Prairie collection was now straight out of the Little Whore-house on the Prairie collection.

Janet Evanovich

Tag: lmao



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As a backup, I intended to get a quart of defense spray. I wasn't much good with a gun, but I was bitchin' with an aerosol can.

Janet Evanovich


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Why do you gotta be going somewhere? Seems like it should be enough that we had nachos. And we got meaningful jobs. We catch bad guys. If it wasn't for us, there'd be vampires and all kinds of shit running around loose.

Janet Evanovich

Tag: life nachos



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I want to be there when you get Cubbin. And I don’t want to be left out of the television show either. Little people are sexy now. Have you seen Game of Thrones? We’re hot.

Janet Evanovich


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