Don’t kiss in public, unless it’s midnight and you’re both wearing black so nobody can see you’re naked.
Jarod KintzI don’t have any upper body strength, but that matches up perfectly with my lack of lower body strength.
Jarod KintzI’m dropping by. I may hit a few red lights, so I’ll be there in thirteen hours.
Jarod KintzWhat are you doing Saturday or Sunday? I’m free this weekend. But come Monday I go back to being a slave.
Jarod KintzHe’s a monk, the fifth of his kind. I call him Monk E, and he is a primate.
Jarod KintzI got fleeced once, by a sweater—a fleece, if you will. And won’t you? Please do.
Jarod KintzMy name is a half an hour early, but my body is on time.
Jarod KintzI eat bar soap raw, because if you try cooking it, it disappears. The soap turns into soup.
Jarod KintzI’ve found the safest place to store my valuables is in a trash sack. Unless I invite a bunch of hobos over one night, who’s going to rummage through rubbish?
Jarod KintzThe police seemed to think I killed her, which is crazy, because I loved her like a thousand drops of blood dripping down a dagger.
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