I like remembering her as she was—a fantasy of the future.
Jarod KintzI have a stalker, a beautiful one: the sunset. Every day she’s there, watching me, whether I watch her or not.
Jarod KintzIf I shed my skin like a shed, rather than a snake, then you might expect me to have shingles.
Jarod KintzAt the end of the universe you’ll find a door labeled “Do Not Enter.” No great mysteries are hidden there—it’s just a supplies closet.
Jarod KintzI kiss like a skyscraper meets the sky, only with less scraping and more vertigo.
Jarod KintzShe had a perfect smile. She doesn’t anymore, but I do. I have that perfect smile mounted on my wall like a pair of antlers.
Jarod KintzMy penis is like a wet noodle, only not as thick. Or tasty.
Jarod KintzIf you put the “rich” in ostrich, I’ll put in the “ost.
Jarod KintzToilet bowl basins need to be deeper, because every time I sit down my penis clogs the pipe.
Jarod KintzThe boxer had two black eyes. But that’s to be expected, since he was from Africa.
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