Blankets could be used as tents. That would free up tents to be used as portable sex stalls.


Jarod Kintz

Vai alla citazione

---

A blanket could be used to teach geography to a sleeping man. Better do it quick, before he wakes up and finds himself in the middle of World War III with no idea where he stands ideologically or territorially.


Jarod Kintz

Vai alla citazione

---

A blanket could be used to protect your heart from heartbreak. Keep your heart warm, because if your heart grows as cold as ice, it’s much more likely to shatter.


Jarod Kintz

Vai alla citazione

---

A brick could be used to start your car, if your car’s keys are cube-shaped and huge. You know what else cube-shaped and huge? That’s right—my penis sheath.


Jarod Kintz

Vai alla citazione

---

A blanket cold be used as truth. At least it’s so warm, it must be used that way.


Jarod Kintz

Vai alla citazione

---

A haunted house could be used like a Band-Aid to stop a bleeding brick. But why stop the bleeding? Stab it a few more times and then sell tickets to the spectacle.


Jarod Kintz

Vai alla citazione

---

A blanket could be used to deliver the darkness on a platter of light. But I’d eat my unborn children straight out of your uterus with a straw before I’d ever be a delivery guy again. Burned pizzas burned me out on that.


Jarod Kintz

Vai alla citazione

---

A brick could be used to unite two long-lost brothers. They’ve been apart for six inches, and that’s entirely too long, and I think it’d be good to bring them back together.


Jarod Kintz

Vai alla citazione

---

A blanket could be used to trap and contain love. I’ve tried other stuff, like a Ziploc bag, a can of tuna, and even a dead cat’s stomach, but nothing seems to be able to hold it for very long.


Jarod Kintz

Vai alla citazione

---

A brick could be used to help you get used to the fact that you’ve been used. I’ve been used to, so I know what you’re going through. You’re going through a dark tunnel, and just when you think it can’t get any darker, trust me, you’ll see a light. That’s an oncoming train, so I’d see how fast you can reverse course. 


Jarod Kintz

Vai alla citazione

---

« prima precedente
Pagina 652 di 658.
prossimo ultimo »

---

---