A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been practicing my tuba, and I’m ready for a duet.
Jarod KintzA blanket could be used to help frowners smile. I’m only halfway through the process myself, which is why I’m smirking.
Jarod KintzA brick could be used to make love better. Faster isn’t always better. Don’t you want to make love better?
Jarod KintzA brick could be used to help teach teenagers to tie their shoes. Honestly, if they are so stupid that they haven’t figured out how to tie their own shoes by now, torture really is the only path left.
Jarod KintzA blanket could be used to offset things likely to set you off. When you start to get hot, just wrap yourself in a warm blanket until you’re comforted and you cool down.
Jarod KintzA brick could be used to say hello in a foreign language. Like most great words, it’d also have synonyms. One such synonym would be the word “Duck!” Not a Feathery Quack Maker, but Get down!
Jarod KintzA brick could be used to sell tickets to a new sport called Glurping. If you think it sounds disgusting now, wait until you see it live!
Jarod KintzA brick could be used to stop war. Logically, a non-brick could be used to start a war. The most common non-brick war starter is of course a politician, which is misleading because despite being non bricks, politicians are surprisingly very brick-like.
Jarod KintzA brick could be used to sell war to the peacemongers. The trick is to sell war cheap, because the real profit is in the renewals and extending the service as long as possible.
Jarod KintzA blanket could be used to crack the code of love. What is it, where do I find it, and how much do I charge people to buy it once I do find a reliable source?
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