A blanket could be used to crack the code of love. What is it, where do I find it, and how much do I charge people to buy it once I do find a reliable source?
Jarod KintzBricks could be used to generate smiles among the general population. Just hand them out, along with handshakes, and say, This will make everything OK. And guess what? They’ll believe you.
Jarod KintzA blanket could be used to tell you exactly what I mean, at precisely the moment I don’t mean it. When I say go, Don’t!
Jarod KintzA blanket could be used to water down the water. Don’t do it now! Wait until I am finished bathing.
Jarod KintzA brick could be used to trick a snake into leaving your pet mouse alone. That way you’re free to use the mouse as you want to, you pervert.
Jarod KintzA brick could be used as a cape, when I’m practicing my anti-superhero drills in Grandmother’s basement and defying her wishes to drink her “fresh” chicken noodle soup through a 20-foot straw that runs from the basement up to the attic, where she found the soup.
Jarod KintzA brick could be used to help you become the next Great American Novelist. Hopefully after you use it to crack your own skull, and not too long after your death, the public will realize your genius and celebrate the greatness that was you.
Jarod KintzA blanket could be used to stop a train. Another good thing to use would be brakes. I’ll sell you a set of train breaks for the price of a warm night’s sleep.
Jarod KintzA blanket could be used to stop the bleeding. But dammit you’re going to have to hurry, before I bleed out all over the carpet.
Jarod KintzA blanket could be used to sell your winningest product to your loserest customer. Oh, loserest is a word. I know, because I just wrote it.
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